There is a lot of buzz on the internet about Chris Brown’s alleged assault on Rihanna (checkout
http://www.tmz.com/ amongst the many websites reporting this) and in true form a lot of people have voiced their opinions (where is the fun, if we don’t voice our opinion eh, I’m doing so right now!) and one of the common themes is that Rihanna should leave him or she is stupid if she doesn’t leave him/ chooses to stay with him.
It is often easier for us to judge or say things when we are not in the situation and often not most of us may not even do what we advise when the situation is turned around.
Abuse is not only physically hurting someone (once or repetitively), but could take a mental or verbal form, and in my opinion the latter hurts the most and is more destructive. Just ask some (not all) anorexic or bulimic or fat person, they might divulge that at some point in their life, someone poked fun at their weight or they had an abusive past.
One thing that came to mind strongly was how easy it was to be or end up in an abusive relationship/situation, without realing you are in one or how you got there and often getting out is often easier said than done.
In my humble opinion many of us have been abused mentally/verbally and may have done nothing (or not immediately).
Let me break it down with a common denominator/theme – How many of us have been abused in our jobs and are still in the same employment?
Some Examples:
- When that manager ignores all your hard work and talent, does not promote you time and time again but promotes some no hoper who doesn’t know squat, that is abuse!
- When that manager/colleagues ignores all your hard work and talent, does not bother to recognise/acknowledge your contributions and efforts. And even when he/she bothers to, they make it out like its nothing and then makes some snide remark about it is something any rat with a tail could do, that is abuse, especially when it is repetitive and goes on for a long time.
- When your manager promotes their mate/brother/fancing them/”insert what you like here” not because of their talent but ignores you who are the bees knees and rightly deserves it, it is abuse!
- When your colleagues use derogatory or abusive language or better still don’t talk to you/ignore because you don’t matter that is abuse!
Call it "favouritism", "networking", "nepotism", "playing the game", “whatever you like”, I call it abuse! Abuse is defined by dictionary.com as one or more of the following:
1. To use wrongly or improperly; misuse: to abuse one's authority.
2. To treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way: to abuse a horse; to abuse one's eyesight
3. To speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about; revile; malign.
4. To commit sexual assault upon.
5. Wrong or improper use; misuse: the abuse of privileges.
6. Harshly or coarsely insulting language: The officer heaped abuse on his men.
7. Bad or improper treatment; maltreatment: The child was subjected to cruel abuse.
8. Rape or sexual assault.
To abuse someone (whether verbal, physical or mental) is to rape them (I can imagine Nigerians who know me saying hmm… Bunmi na wa oh, rape loun loun!) . Rape is to seize or carry out an act on someone else without their consent and by force, therefore if someone or some people force their abusive thoughts, conducts, etc on you, that is rape, that is a violation of whom you are!
Now back to the original story, until it is confirmed as true or proven guilty I am going to take the Chris/Rihanna thing as “allegedly”, however if it turns out to be true, I ask God to give Rihanna the strength to overcome the captivity, fear, and demons of an abusive relationship. And I pray that for Chris Brown God helps him understand the gravity of what he has done, makes him learn and truly repent from his mistakes and to permanently forsake any abusive behaviour.
PS: Chrissypoo, if you are proven guilty, then "that" (the abuse) was a truly stupid thing to do, what a setback for someone who had so much in store for him, I pray your career survives the backlash *weeps*.
